This past week has been very hectic, mostly emotionally, but that can't be helped. AP exams, which put a little stress on me, problems with the beau, though they can't really be called problems, because neither one of us actually recognizes them, and my meddling with my best friends, which is causing problems, because half the time, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. My best friend, well the boy, has become, I don't know, it's been in the making, his inability to understand me and the way I feel, his materialistic ways and the way he thinks that he's better than me, as he so mentioned last night, so subtly. I haven't been taking time for myself lately, everything that I have been doing for the past few weeks, has been to please everyone else in my life and not that I have a problem with that, I just don't understand why I'm the one who always has to be giving of herself, while everyone gets what they can out of me. There is one exception, well a couple really, friends who think about me and wonder how I am, and care and for that I am thankful, but I understand those who don't. I realize that I'm not exactly that important, to anyone. Among the bad things, there are some good, I spoke with my favorite teacher; she's a utter delight. That brightened up my day yesterday, and then on Wednesday, when I was dismayed, I met an elderly woman on her way home, her hair was a silver white, her eyes a beautiful sky blue, and she gave me words of encouragement, opening my eyes to see the truth, to see what was wrong in my life and a way to fix it. I believe that I can, fix it, that is, though, the way I am, frightens me and others. If everything turns out the way I want it to this week, then maybe I can forget about everything that is posted in the journal because it won't matter anymore. Though I know it doesn't matter now, it seems like it could.